Camille James says ~

It's me Camille. I have been a loyal fan of yours for over 10 years and this is my Dear John letter to you. Yea, I know I've said it a million times that I was leaving you and 24 hours I was back, but this time I'm older. This relation-ship has sunk and I'm jumping ship. You are a hell of a drug. The kind that will make you:

• Get out of bed at 3 am in some bunny rabbit house shoes and a robe just to go to the nearest corner store.

•  Add you to my weekly budget - sometimes before the eggs and milk.

• Know that you contain rat poison, tar, a little bit of tobacco and probably swine flu and I still want you.

• Spray perfume on and think no will smell the smoke in my hair.
  

• Get up in the morning looking for you and go to sleep thinking about you.

• Go out in 40 below zero weather, with freezing rain trying to take a drag in between my nose falling off.

• Ride around for hours trying to find my brand only to settle for the 2 for 1 special.

• Read the warning label on the side for entertainment while I'm taking a puff.

• Deny our relation-ship to my husband, kids and my mother with cigarette breathe.

• Walk up to a complete stranger and ask for a lighter no matter how suspect they might look.

• Do everything from gum, patches, Zyban and even hypnosis only to want to put a whole pack in my mouth and light the end.
  

I'm about to complete my first month and this has been a transformation I will never forget. What started out as a physical detox has evolved into mental and spiritual one. I have so much energy that I am cutting my neighbor's yard and mines. I still suffer with insomnia, but that's a blog entry all by itself. I am now 13 pounds lighter and I feel fantastic. As soon as I thought I was in the clear all hell broke loose. All the things, thoughts and habits that I thought I had tucked away in the closet of my mind came out for me to deal with one more time.

It reminded me of this biblical parable:

There once was a man who lived in filth, he stunk of body order and most importantly he was accompanied by a demon. This demon taunted him and thrived in the confusion of mess and hoarding. Then one day the man got tired of dealing with this demon and decided to clean up his act... literally. So he got busy cleaning his house, his body and threw away all the trash. The demon was angered and had to leave, because he could not live in a clean environment. Once the demon left, the man began to enjoy life again and wondered why he had not done this earlier.

Some time passed and he had gotten use to his new life when suddenly a knock on the door startled him. When he answered the door it was the demon, but this time he was not alone. The demon went to and fro and found 7 more demons to attack the man.

Lesson: Making the decision to change, grow and transform means that a battle is at hand between the lower self and the higher self. The old will not go out without a fight and just when you think you have it all together... the worst has yet to come. So be prepared for the real aftermath and whatever you do... don't give up. Know that when something good is on the way, a tribulation will have to be overcome before the reward is granted. Can you weather the storm? Like all storms, the Sun will eventually shine through and victory is at hand.

How are you to know the warmth of the sun, if you have not experienced the dreadful cold or the euphoria of love without the memories of being alone? In other words, when you first make an effort to understand something or someone, you must know both sides of the truth. There is a requirement to release one side of the experience for the other. This leads to greater understanding, compassion and  a more whole or holy  lifestyle.

LOVE is everything and in everything that you do. Whatever direction you are going in, the final destination is love and self awareness. Those involved with love will evolve.